“Ladies, Your Husband Is Your Master And Not Your Equal” – Pastor Chris Oyakhilome

Chris-Oyakhilome1

Most problems in marriages today started when individual men started forming churches and making their wife head of marriage counseling, and their wife started propagating funny doctrines with the support of their husband (the Pastor) claiming that husband and wife are equal.

Husband and wife are equal in the whites’ court marriage were either party can walk away once they are tired by going back to court and get divorce papers. But it is not same with Bible and Quaran.

Read Pastor Chris Oyakhilome’s position:

Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master. The reason for most problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form theirs. They believe they are equal partners. If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their marriage and they will be very happy people. Most women have never been taught by their parents, their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they think he is another woman.

In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union, its important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is where you are wrong. He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and his needs.When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. The Bible says, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly.

Why did God make the woman?Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve, He said in Genesis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good”. God made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.Genesis 2:18a “And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..” The Bible didn’t say “lonely” but “alone”. There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b “…I will make him an help meet”. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him what to do.I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man achieve that responsibility.

If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.I tell people that you don’t need a marriage seminar, you need the Word Seminar.

Let me tell you, no husband wants another mother, he has had one all his life. He doesn’t want an older sister, he probably had one.Your secret is in obedience, your secret is in listening to your husband, your secret is in doing the things that please him. When you don’t do the things that please him, you take the role of a mother or of an older sister. A man loves the one he serves (God) and the one that serves him (a good wife). He fights the one that wants to be at the same level with him (a rebellious wife).

To be happy in your family and home is the easiest thing in the world, just take your role. Take your place. That place that God gave you is a beautiful place. Its a place of peace. Its a place of love. It’s a place of excellence. Every wise person listens to wise voices (advice) but he listens to a wise voice that is presented wisely. Everyone rebels against the voice that is trying to make a fool out of him. When you want to correct your husband, don’t lord it over him,present it as a wise suggestion. Humble yourself and be smart. A wise woman will always be an influence to her husband, the foolish one will always annoy the husband, make him mad, make him angry and when you make him angry, you will be the victim.

Learn to listen to your husband, practice it, tell yourself that you are going to do it because that is where your beauty is.Once you stop listening, your beauty evaporates. You wonder why you are dressing and he can’t see it, he doesn’t remember your last hair style. Beauty is in obedience. That’s where the Glory is.

Comments

comments

788 comments
The_amazing_love_of_God
The_amazing_love_of_God

As much as I respect Pastor Chris, I believe there is a more balanced approach to this issue based on Jesus's teaching. Let us balance the Word of God and stop using it as a license to oppress each other.......I pray that readers will gain more knowledge from the message below....


Laying Down Our Life for the Bride



"Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father" (John 10:17,18).

Jesus was called to lay down His life for His bride, the Church. Men are called to emulate this same "laying down" our lives for our wives - our earthly brides. Men are to be a physical representation of what Christ has done for each of us. As we men do this, we experience the love of the Father. Wives will experience the love of the Father as husbands do this. Most of us men fight this process due to our own insecurities, independence, pride and ego. However, it is the very laying down our lives that allows us to connect to the Father just as Jesus connected to His Father.

It is in the sacrificial, free will act that this occurs. This activates in the woman a response of love that allows the man to experience a deep love that is rooted in the Father but channeled from the wife, the one we lay our lives down for. Jesus did not feel something was being taken from Him because He chose to give it willingly. Conversely, if husbands lay down willingly their lives, they will not feel something is being taken. It is when husbands defend, negotiate and withdraw from the needs of a woman that it negates this process. When we think we are being used or manipulated against our will, we believe others are trying to control us and we resist. Jesus did not do this. He gave willingly. Men must realize they are the initiators called to lay down their lives for their wives. Women respond to this sacrificial act by giving their heart and physical love to their husbands. Both husband and wife experience the love of the Father when this happens.

Giving up our lives for our wives feels like just that - giving up our life. We give up rights, privileges, and desires. We focus only on them. When we become dead, God loves us by giving us the desires of our heart. We give up life, in order to gain it. "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 16:25).

This is what it means when Jesus laid down His life for His bride. This is what it means when Paul said: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish" (Eph 5:25-28).

This principle is key to impacting the marketplace for Jesus Christ. The family has been greatly wounded by a failure to understand this principle. This has also led men and women to become slaves instead of sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Today, if you are a husband, commit yourself to laying down your life for your bride.

AkiLaz
AkiLaz

I HAVE LIVE I A HOUSE WHERE HUSBAND WASH THE WIFE CLOTHES, DO MANY DOMENSTIC JOB, DOES IT MEANS THAT MAN HAS BECOME SLAVE? WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 3YRS BEFORE I LEFT THE COMPOUND, THE WOMAN WAS A VERY HUMBLE WOMAN YOU CAN NEVER HEAR HER VOICE, SHE KNOW WHEN THE HUSBAND IS AGREE, DUE TO HER SUBMISSION THIS MAN WILL COME FROM WORK AND STILL ASSISTANT HER DO PERFORM DOMESTIC WORK AT HOME, THAT IS WHAT SUBMISSION CAN DO. PLEASE WOMEN DON'T TAKE SUBMISSION AS SLAVE

The_amazing_love_of_God
The_amazing_love_of_God

@AkiLaz


Laying Down Our Life for the Bride



"Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father" (John 10:17,18).

Jesus was called to lay down His life for His bride, the Church. Men are called to emulate this same "laying down" our lives for our wives - our earthly brides. Men are to be a physical representation of what Christ has done for each of us. As we men do this, we experience the love of the Father. Wives will experience the love of the Father as husbands do this. Most of us men fight this process due to our own insecurities, independence, pride and ego. However, it is the very laying down our lives that allows us to connect to the Father just as Jesus connected to His Father.

It is in the sacrificial, free will act that this occurs. This activates in the woman a response of love that allows the man to experience a deep love that is rooted in the Father but channeled from the wife, the one we lay our lives down for. Jesus did not feel something was being taken from Him because He chose to give it willingly. Conversely, if husbands lay down willingly their lives, they will not feel something is being taken. It is when husbands defend, negotiate and withdraw from the needs of a woman that it negates this process. When we think we are being used or manipulated against our will, we believe others are trying to control us and we resist. Jesus did not do this. He gave willingly. Men must realize they are the initiators called to lay down their lives for their wives. Women respond to this sacrificial act by giving their heart and physical love to their husbands. Both husband and wife experience the love of the Father when this happens.

Giving up our lives for our wives feels like just that - giving up our life. We give up rights, privileges, and desires. We focus only on them. When we become dead, God loves us by giving us the desires of our heart. We give up life, in order to gain it. "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 16:25).

This is what it means when Jesus laid down His life for His bride. This is what it means when Paul said: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish" (Eph 5:25-28).

This principle is key to impacting the marketplace for Jesus Christ. The family has been greatly wounded by a failure to understand this principle. This has also led men and women to become slaves instead of sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Today, if you are a husband, commit yourself to laying down your life for your bride.

AkiLaz
AkiLaz

READ ALL THE COMMENT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE AGAINST HUSBAND BEEN MASTER, THEY ARE ALL WOMEN, IT IS VERY OBVIOUS OF THE KIND OF WIFE THEY ARE TO THERE HUSBAND AT HOME. THE ONLY PASSWORD FOR A WIFE TO ENTER A HUSBAND IS SUBMISSION. IF YOU SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND YOUR HUSBAND HAS NO CHOICE THAN TO LOVE YOU. AND ANYONE YOU LOVE YOU CAN GO EXTRA MILE FOR THAT PERSON. SUBMISSION IS NOT SLAVERY PLEASE. MANY OF YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO PRIMARY SCHOOL. THOSE WHO ARE AGAINST THIS TEACHING, TRACE THEM TO THEIR HOME THERE IS NO PEACE IN THAT HOME. THE NATURE AT WHICH MAN WAS BORN, IT IS DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO ACCEPT WOMAN CONTROL IT IS REALITY WHETHER WE BELIEVE IT OR NOT. THE HOUSE WHERE WIFE WANT TO RULE OR EQUATE HERSELF TO THE HUSBAND IS ALWAYS ON FIRE, CARRY OUT YOUR PERSONER RESEARCH YOU WILL AGREE WITH THIS.

Stephany Koranteng
Stephany Koranteng

There is only one master who is God Almighty says the Holy Bible. The holy bible says man should love his wife just like he loves himself . Same as women should love their men. There are some foolish men who over uses their power if women give them the power to be their masters in marriage. Marriage is both equal right to make decisions with God Leading.

EsanCharlesSunday
EsanCharlesSunday

Bad teaching, Bible says 'women obey your husbands... ' and 'men love your wife...' not vice-versa. Go and read your Bible pls & stop believing in wrong teaching

Bishop Owusu
Bishop Owusu

Stephany...I respectfully disagree...if someone invites u into his home u assume the role of a guest and NOT the owner of the house...If u are not willing to submit to a particular man's authority, DONT MARRY HIM..but once u say I DO...be prepared to follow where he leads..In the end, a divorce affects the woman more than the man...PLEASE BE WISE AND SAVE UR MARRIAGE....

IsrealSWonder
IsrealSWonder

But Sarah adored, reverenced and called the father of faith Lord. Love your neighbor as yourself not only your wife my Dear. The understanding of this would set you on a path full of testimonies. The man is the Head of the family, the wife the help meet.etc inbox me for more

Apostle Edward
Apostle Edward

Nothing like EQUAL POWER. Stop spoiling your marriage

NanaGyanQuaicoe
NanaGyanQuaicoe

The Bible didn't say a woman should love her husband Stephany, it said honour, other translation will say Respect! I never will support men who lord it over women in marriage but truth is, the husband is the head spiritually and physically.But pls marriage is not equal right in the Spiritual sense as God ordained it. 

A true leader is a servant himself as Jesus teaches but if women learns to obey her husband in marriage, she will be served by the husband because he is commanded to love his wife! 

AkiLaz
AkiLaz

can you quot exactly where your reference is in the bible? my sister, let me help you Paul says in Ephesian husband LOVE your wife and wife SUBMIT to your husband, husband cannot be doing the LOVE and the SUBMISSION the same time, what is submission that Apostle Paul was referring to? please my sister if you want to enjoy your marriage, if you want to be happy in your marriage, if you want to really enjoy your husband, if you want your husband to reveal to you what he cannot tell his mother submit to him, you may not like this but practice it, you will testify to other women. the best password to enter husband is SUBMISSION.

DavidNiyiOkufuye
DavidNiyiOkufuye

I think the church has a lot of work to do cos there is a lot of wrong teaching there and there, for every woman study your bible its not enough to listen but confirm for yourself if its true and that's y we are having issues of some religions fighting western education because we have replace religion with humans laws or perceptions.

Nnanna
Nnanna

On a scale of 1-10, 9 of every humble wife has a loving husband. Except in rare cases were the man is a 😈 devil. In fact a reasonable man values a woman who submits to his authority even more than a woman he loves.

LexxQuaye
LexxQuaye

Sometimes not that we men don't see you as whatsoever you thinking. But right from your gestures submission can't be traced.

Women only receive the good counsel when they're about to marriage but not thinking to be submissive all the time or getting rid of pride,arrogant and whatever.

Just be submissive men are not foolish. Everyone who is ready to marriage and seek God's presence in his or her marriage get a deserving partner.

gopcydocjay
gopcydocjay

Not to contradict your opinion sir, but to enlighten you because we are fond of reading things the way it suits us. Go back to verse 21 of the Ephessians you quoted. Submission is mutual.

Benjamin Bakam
Benjamin Bakam

yes husbands should love theier wives as Christ Loved the church and gave himself for her. For men this is the secret of never getting a divorce as far as the new treatment is concerned. A man who will go futher to love an unsubmisive woman by patiently insisting on the true order will finally win her to submit without making it dogmatic and oppressive. Let men arise and take the responsibility of fixing their wives to their God given standard. No man shouuld use the unsubmisiveness of a wife to permit divorce. Take charge like your master too oh man.

Oluseyi Ogundipe
Oluseyi Ogundipe

Kindly read through the article again patiently. It was not encouraging man to lord over woman. It was only expatiating on the individual positioning in marriage, and a way to carefully assume the positions without any strive.

Going by your opinion, assuming they are both equal, why is it that more men are naturally seen or fitted in into some energy-sapping or risky tasks than women, for instance, coal mining, long distance drivings, piloting, military works (warfares), etc? I hope all these show that men are made to take bigger responsibilities and to lead (not to 'lord' anyway). No two drivers stay inside a single vehicle; one drives while the other submits.

The_amazing_love_of_God
The_amazing_love_of_God

@Apostle Edward


Laying Down Our Life for the Bride



"Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father" (John 10:17,18).

Jesus was called to lay down His life for His bride, the Church. Men are called to emulate this same "laying down" our lives for our wives - our earthly brides. Men are to be a physical representation of what Christ has done for each of us. As we men do this, we experience the love of the Father. Wives will experience the love of the Father as husbands do this. Most of us men fight this process due to our own insecurities, independence, pride and ego. However, it is the very laying down our lives that allows us to connect to the Father just as Jesus connected to His Father.

It is in the sacrificial, free will act that this occurs. This activates in the woman a response of love that allows the man to experience a deep love that is rooted in the Father but channeled from the wife, the one we lay our lives down for. Jesus did not feel something was being taken from Him because He chose to give it willingly. Conversely, if husbands lay down willingly their lives, they will not feel something is being taken. It is when husbands defend, negotiate and withdraw from the needs of a woman that it negates this process. When we think we are being used or manipulated against our will, we believe others are trying to control us and we resist. Jesus did not do this. He gave willingly. Men must realize they are the initiators called to lay down their lives for their wives. Women respond to this sacrificial act by giving their heart and physical love to their husbands. Both husband and wife experience the love of the Father when this happens.

Giving up our lives for our wives feels like just that - giving up our life. We give up rights, privileges, and desires. We focus only on them. When we become dead, God loves us by giving us the desires of our heart. We give up life, in order to gain it. "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 16:25).

This is what it means when Jesus laid down His life for His bride. This is what it means when Paul said: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish" (Eph 5:25-28).

This principle is key to impacting the marketplace for Jesus Christ. The family has been greatly wounded by a failure to understand this principle. This has also led men and women to become slaves instead of sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Today, if you are a husband, commit yourself to laying down your life for your bride.

jratukalou
jratukalou

Perfect Love casts out fear .....Religious Spirit have no understanding of Love , Do not fear them for they consider the use of Authourity with the bible to support this  beliefs .When I got married even before I was a believer , I basically know who has the authority in our marriage its in our DNA as a woman  to have reverence to my husband and thats before I knew the Bible ,He didnt have to preach submit  or abuse his authority ,its in us , Husbands love your wife , we become one , and as one we are equal in the eyes of God , Sometimes I may step my boundaries and Im reminded to respect my husband or vice versa , but trying to initiate fear in Women is not from God because God is Love , and he blesses marriage , so we work together as partners as we become one,and Christ is The head.At the end of the Day anything you do without love is not of God.

EsanCharlesSunday
EsanCharlesSunday

Does obidence to your husband makes you a slave? Haaa! The world is definitely upside down

AkiLaz
AkiLaz

WHAT CONNECTION HAS SUBMISSION TO SLAVERY? YOU MUST GO BACK TO PRIMARY SCHOOL tell your class teacher to teach you the difference between submission and slavery, read my reply to Stephany you don't need further mercy from GOD,

LexxQuaye
LexxQuaye

Women are not slave as you women thinks...clear that ideology. Remember a man can find a slave if he want but that won't satisfy a man. Just be wise women.

Patience Nkem
Patience Nkem

I know and believe that husbands rare the masters,but why is it that must men don't play or take the role of the so called being a master?

AkiLaz
AkiLaz

my sister your reply is very polite and erudite in nature, i qualify you to be a very intelligent woman, educated and has element of the fear of God in you, Heaven will bless you and bless your marriage, let me react to your question, my inspiration from your question, you are a little bit enlighten than your husband though he may not accept(that is man ego for u don't blame him, we are born like that), what you will do is, in submission and obedient to him, educate and enlighten him, i tell you he will accept it, find a favourable time to do so, if possible in the bed room, what you feel he knows that he suppose to do he may not know, i face this when i married but i learnt many things from my wife and today we are happy. MAY HEAVEN GIVE YOU THE SECRET OF WHAT YOU SEE AS CHALLENGE SO YOU CAN OVERCOME IT. may you remain in the spirit of what am sensing in your comment

Blissluv Akpan
Blissluv Akpan

Pastor, Wen u say "husband is a master, Pls sir Wat will u call women living with this masters(husband) at home, Slaves right? Some men re jus quoting Sarah calling Abraham "Lord". It is true no doubt, Bt Abraham loved his wife, he praised her, he provided for her, he protected her and defended her despite the fact that Sarah nva gave him a child until her 80yrs of age. Which husband of today would endure such? U men wan ur wives to crown u king and Lord Bt ur attitude towards ur wives is uncalled for. Wen u fail in ur duty as a husband, u still call urself Master. Why would a wife call her husband Master? Is it for d beatings? Humiliation? Name calling? Unfaithfulness? or comparing his wife to his numerous girls outside? We will understand d word "head of the family and not master". God is my master, my husband is d head of the family. Judge urself to know if u re qualified for a MASTERing degree. Shalom

Nalu
Nalu

I suggest you react carefully. Everything he said is on point...scripturally. Thats why its important you do the choosing of ur man carefully so you dont come under the roof of a wrong man cos if that happens, may God help you.

Barbie Marian
Barbie Marian

That awkward moment when you're reading this comment to find an awkward moment but there isnt any and still you're reading this comment and you're starting to realise it says nothing important and you just wasted a couple of seconds of your life but you're still reading and you dont even know why. That's awkward.. You should give me a like for wasting your time.

Dele Oke
Dele Oke

He did not say that, it is a rumor , be careful how you talk about men of God when you don't have facts

Jenny Sliver
Jenny Sliver

what are we tragging for, pastor you are 100% right no matter how they twits it, onyeka gift ijeh you are on point you have said it all ( quto****my brother, hustle to be the bread winner cos that's another tittle to be the master, not by mouth or been man, if you are trying your best, and yet you don't have it, God bless you all figers are not equall.

AkiLaz
AkiLaz

my sister my heaven endow you with your heart desire, whether you are married now or not i don't know, i want to tell you that the password that a wife can use to enter man's heart is submission, may God give you the spirit to do so, i tell you this as a man if you are submissive to your husband the secret that your husband cannot tell his mother he will tell you, he cannot spend a night without thinking of you, other women around you may think that you charm your husband. God will bless you as you see the reality of this teaching, i am not Christ embassy member though i am a christian but am speaking on the perspective of a man. every man want a woman that will be submissive to him, it makes us love them more, somebody you love can you make him SLAVE? if man love his wife him go extra length for her. i saw again God Bless you my sister.

Benjamin Nii Apa
Benjamin Nii Apa

I'm am so surprised about this pastor. Eii....the man is a visionary and...let me stop here but this man is very funny.

Ella Nessia Sabra
Ella Nessia Sabra

So now we may say that their responsibilities to each other may vary or different, but of the same degree of commitment, then we say a husband and wife are still equal. Plus this very statement of this pastor is taken advantage of abusive husbands and that is why I see many cases of domestic violence. (Battered wives) from this posts

Yaw Owusu Boampong
Yaw Owusu Boampong

Look people the word master does not mean men are superior and women are inferior. The problem we all face in this modern world is money and material things. If indeed there is respect in any marriage there is peace and prosperity. As an African man I have come to realised that as a man whatever you have is for you and your wife. But if it's for your wife it's for her, the mother and brothers. We are all confused. We cannot diferentiate marriage from material gains. Money is what is destroying marriages. No respect if you don't have the money. Society as a whole is corrupt and full of lies. People interpret things the way it suits them. In reality what you see it's what you get.

Robin Pollard-Carter
Robin Pollard-Carter

What makes him the master, when I am out there bringing home the bacon even and straight, plus when I get home after driving more that fourteen miles, I have to prepare dinner and food items for next morning when I awake at 4am. Listen up. He is not my equal or my master, he is my partner. I always give respect 100% for what ever I do, I do it out of love. So damn that man who is trying to divide bonded households with his foolish teachings that is made up of foolish man made laws, and not bible based teachings

IsaacIsaka
IsaacIsaka

The truth in the bible is always bitter. I will rather go in for the bitter truth. U see. Most women in the bible worked harder than what some of u ladies are doing today yet they submitted n there was nothing like divorce too much. When husbands are not treating you right it all started from your refusal to submit. I can call you a prostitute without feeling anything bad. Cause you are

FiestyGal
FiestyGal

Way to take a mans responsibility off of him and blame someone else (his wife) Many men are not fulfilling there God given roles of authority and sit at home not working or providing and sit and play games all day. My husband is amazing and a great provider for us. He makes it easy to serve. Even the Bible says you reap what you sow. You treat your wife like a slave and she will treat you the same way. Men are to love their wife, treating her like a slave is not loving her like Christ.

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Joyce Duu Richie
Joyce Duu Richie

Men who think like this pastor have a lot of problems in their marriage, I can see this might be one of the reasons his marriage didn't work , cause he thinks he's a master \U0001f60f\U0001f60f\U0001f60f a husband should love his wife and the wife will automatically give him the respect he deserves as the head of the family . Those kind of masters works in the olden days not today where women are educated and independent .

Bonny Blue
Bonny Blue

\U0001f44f\U0001f44f\U0001f44f preach on my Joyce

Joyce Duu Richie
Joyce Duu Richie

Bonny Blue yes my sis am just telling it like it is \U0001f60a\U0001f603

dee97
dee97

that is why he is divorced lol